I do not need to sound alarmist, however I’ve observed what appears to be a looming intercourse disaster. These with poor eyesight—and people drawn to these with poor eyesight—are making a crucial bed room mistake. No, it’s not the junior excessive awkwardness of making an attempt to make out with somebody who wears glasses when you’re additionally carrying glasses (although there’s a component of cute, acquainted clumsiness to it). I’m speaking about eradicating your spectacles earlier than doing the deed. I urge you, my glasses-wearing cohorts, to contemplate preserving them on.
Think about, if you’ll, a Tinder fairy story: You’ve matched with the Clark Kent of your desires, and beneath these thick black frames you simply know there’s a Superman (or no matter non-heteronormative metaphor finest works right here) that you simply need to see bare. You go on a couple of dates (or only one, no matter makes you most snug) and determine it’s time to get busy. When the lights dim low and also you undress your associate, they take away their glasses revealing…a totally totally different face and vibe than what you have been first drawn to.
Perhaps it was the best way they pushed their delightfully nerdy lenses up after they slipped off their nostril that made you go weak on the knees. Perhaps you simply have a later-in-life glasses fetish—which completely is smart as a result of glasses are nice. Regardless of the case, you’ve got a good time however can’t assist however assume that one thing is barely amiss. And that is as a result of there is, my good friend—there actually is. They need to’ve saved ‘em on.
And should you contemplate your non-glasses-wearing associate in the identical state of affairs however reversed, you’ll notice that they such as you as you’re, 4 Eyes!
I’ve been carrying glasses since I used to be 16 months outdated. At this level, they’re an extension of my face, a component of construction like dimples or freckles. Eradicating them creates an additional degree of nudity that does not really feel attractive—a vulnerability that permeates past sight.
So I very hardly ever take away my glasses whereas having intercourse (see above be aware about the way it’s my face, and so forth.), and if reminiscence serves, I’ve by no means explicitly been requested to—I think about if a associate have been to request that, it might be to guard the frames from breaking (which is good) or as a result of that they had some basic highschool film kink the place eradicating them is a few attractive striptease (that is good too if that’s your bag—consent is king). Because of all of this, I simply by no means really feel the necessity to take away them earlier than getting right down to enterprise.
However I needed to find if different individuals felt equally, so I performed my very own scientific ballot—a.ok.a. I requested Twitter if of us took their frames off earlier than getting between the sheets. I requested the query twice, altering the phrasing from, “Do you are taking your glasses off throughout intercourse?” to “Do you retain your glasses on throughout intercourse?” as a result of I bear in mind one thing from my school psych class about having a management and verbiage coloring your outcomes. It simply appeared like the suitable factor to do.
I wasn’t too shocked to search out that the majority Tweeters stated they don’t put on glasses—although the Imaginative and prescient Council of America suggests 75 p.c of adults require some kind of imaginative and prescient correction (nevertheless, it doesn’t break down what share are part-time wearers, how a lot of that inhabitants goes untreated, or opts for contacts, or Lasik eye surgical procedure, and so forth). I used to be shocked to see an amazing majority of oldsters admit to by no means taking off their glasses, and a few non-glasses wearers revealed that their glasses-wearing companions would take them off on a regular basis. This isn’t probably the most correct studying—I’m not a scientist—however it does appear to be a bummer.
By eradicating glasses earlier than intercourse, we four-eyes of the world are forgetting one essential factor: Other than bodily well being situations outdoors of our management, the vast majority of us select to put on glasses. We may get Lasik, we may poke at our eyes with glass (plastic?) contacts day in and time out (once more, I’m devoted to spectacles), however we select glasses.
Why? As a result of they’re cute and good-looking, and we glance good in them. Folks discover us sexually enticing in them, and they’re a part of the explanation we’re so rattling cute and good-looking and handsome.
In a very memorable episode within the third season of Actual Housewives of Beverly Hills, resident badass/latest divorcée Brandi Glanville mentions that she owns a pair of glasses that she retains solely for the bed room. Whereas that’s not completely true—she’s since made it a development to put on them out and about and look oh-so-fabulous when she does—it’s nonetheless an inspiring thought. If all of us glasses wearers may embrace our interior (and outer) Brandi Glanvilles and take our frames to the bed room, we’d in all probability have higher intercourse due to it.
And for what it’s price, “glasses” is a well-liked tag on a number of porn websites. Persons are into our frames, particularly and particularly for intercourse causes. We must be too.